Thursday, January 27, 2011

I have spoiled them, I just know I have!

I have spoiled my family, I just know I have! When I say "spoiled", I mean this...

"To do harm to the character, nature, or attitude of by oversolicitude, overindulgence, or excessive praise."

I am so serious!

Why else would dirty clothes be left laying around, you know a pair of sock here or there. Shoes left where they have been kicked off, dirty dishes in the livingroom. A dirty pan left on the stove top.

It is as if it was all left for me to care for! Add to that, the responsibility of planning, and cooking, three meals a day. Being able to produce a gourmet snack at any moment.

Wait, there's more... four people asking for help from me, sometimes at the same time, on good days, one right after another. To all of this, I scream out to Hubs,

"Who do you think I am? Super Woman?"

He replies,

"Quite frankly, yes!"

As I have wallowed in self pity and the sadness of living with a family that does not know how great they have it (tongue in cheek), the conversation in my head goes something like this...

"Vickie, you love your family."

"Yes! That is true."

"You enjoy making gourmet meals, and snacks, for your family."


"You seem to enjoy making your home a place of rest, refreshment and beauty, a place of refuge."

"True again. I am just tired."

"Guess what? Your family is tired too. Everyone is offering their best. All of you need to see it as that, an offering. And then, receive it from one another. You do have laughter in your home. Laughter is good medicine. It helps you to care for the one who is emotionally and behaviourally fragile. It gives strength to you. It alleviates the pressures, at least for a moment, and that moment is precious."

So, after thinking on that for a while...

"But, have I spoiled them?"

"Have a conversation. Make some changes. Be flexible. Be respectful."

We've had the conversation. Things are going pretty well. There is a happy medium, okay, not always happy. I realize that I am the one who may be a bit ruined...having to have things just so. When something crazy/hard/challenging happens, outside of my control, I need to be the one to make the adjustment. If I can do that, with the Lord's grace and direction, our home will continue to be one of rest, refreshment, beauty and refuge.
Disclaimer: Hubs knows about this posting. I asked him weeks ago, "Have I spoiled you all?" We had a conversation. Also, in our household we share many responsibilities, including laundry, taxi driving, therapies, etc. We did get off track. We are back on track.